Interesting article--it's funny how hyper-sexuality of kids has become the media cause de jour, I mean it's been going on for years. New books everywhere!! The Lolita Effect, and now So Sexy So Soon co-authored by Jean Kilbourne of "Killing Us Softly" fame. OK, so we're talking about it, now what? As I read this article I noticed that all the adults (except the one dad who spoke up in the workshop) appeared to be women. This is a cultural as well as a parental issue, and we must get men, particularly dads, involved in addressing what children are seeing. This is not just about booty, it's teen pregnancy and the ways in which we hold girls responsible for their sexuality but not boys, it's violence against women, it's media access, and it's that blurring line of responsibility between parents and schools. Thank goodness the only thing my 5 year old nephew has picked up at school is a fondness for Transformers!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Do They Mean Parents, or Is It Mom's Responsibility?
elle
Interesting article--it's funny how hyper-sexuality of kids has become the media cause de jour, I mean it's been going on for years. New books everywhere!! The Lolita Effect, and now So Sexy So Soon co-authored by Jean Kilbourne of "Killing Us Softly" fame. OK, so we're talking about it, now what? As I read this article I noticed that all the adults (except the one dad who spoke up in the workshop) appeared to be women. This is a cultural as well as a parental issue, and we must get men, particularly dads, involved in addressing what children are seeing. This is not just about booty, it's teen pregnancy and the ways in which we hold girls responsible for their sexuality but not boys, it's violence against women, it's media access, and it's that blurring line of responsibility between parents and schools. Thank goodness the only thing my 5 year old nephew has picked up at school is a fondness for Transformers!
Interesting article--it's funny how hyper-sexuality of kids has become the media cause de jour, I mean it's been going on for years. New books everywhere!! The Lolita Effect, and now So Sexy So Soon co-authored by Jean Kilbourne of "Killing Us Softly" fame. OK, so we're talking about it, now what? As I read this article I noticed that all the adults (except the one dad who spoke up in the workshop) appeared to be women. This is a cultural as well as a parental issue, and we must get men, particularly dads, involved in addressing what children are seeing. This is not just about booty, it's teen pregnancy and the ways in which we hold girls responsible for their sexuality but not boys, it's violence against women, it's media access, and it's that blurring line of responsibility between parents and schools. Thank goodness the only thing my 5 year old nephew has picked up at school is a fondness for Transformers!
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12 comments:
So true! As I was, young girls are very influenced by the media. America’s Next Top Model claims to be a good television show for young girls to watch, yet they will eliminate the girl who refused to pose nude. Not to mention the seductive photo shoots with male models and “barely their” clothing. Also, the popular show Gossip Girl shows teenagers having sex, steeling and backstabbing. I can’t think of one show that influences girls in a good way. Oprah?
Sarah Lembcke
Brian Zielke
After reading this article I think it isn't just the mom's responsibility to look out for their daughters and their behaviors that begin to adapt at earlier ages it seems these days. I think that the father also should have to step in and take responsibility but at the same time want to help out and be involved and not feel like he is forced to. I think it's a great point that dads shouldn't just get involved because of what their kids are seeing or thinking but there are bigger issues like teen pregnancy, physical and verbal abuse and also what the media is handing off to our youth. Mothers can't do it all by themselves although it may seem that they relate better with young teenage daughters than perhaps the father. First and foremost we have to make sure that there is a father in the young girls life and go from there because no matter what we all think, a dad is a dad and what child would stray away from a loving and caring one who is involved in their lives.
Brian Zielke
As I read this article, I began to gasp so many times (and LOUDLY I should add) that the people around me began to look at me. I guess I was just surprised to see that these little boys and girls are being exposed to all of this information. I know they eventually will but at this age? And then I began to think for a while longer and I realized that I shouldn’t have been surprised because media is everywhere. I think parents should be WANT to talk to their children about everything they’re curious about because at least then, they know their children is getting correct and appropriate information.
Notice I say “parents”, not “mother”. Parents should be able to establish a connection between them and their children. Yes, mothers probably understand their daughters a little better, but what if her daughter needs to see her situation from a male view? Plus, we all know that mothers have other responsibilities around the house (unfortunately, that STILL hasn’t changed) and with their other children that dealing with issues such as sex or health could be considered as just one more thing to do. Another thing: when you watch television shows or even movies, you often only see mothers giving the “sex talk” to their daughters (with the exception of American Pie). Why is that? Is it because IF she gets pregnant, of course everyone will notice that she’s carrying a baby? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it takes TWO to make a baby. Parents should be just as concerned with their sons losing their “flower”.
When I was reading this article, I was thinking about when I was in middle school and that’s where I first felt the pressure to look more “sexy”. I think that pop culture is having a negative affect on teens. I think it’s good that there is a book to help parents deal with different situation that their kids are going through so that they can help them. Many parent now have to worry about what their kids are listen to, what they are watching because there are so many things in pop culture that are making being sexy and skinny the cool thing. So many parents are concern about today’s sexual attitudes and behavior of their adolescents. School should have classes to help parents deal with the sexualized media culture. Schools should also have a dress code so kids dress appropriate to school this would be a start to help solving this problem.
Kirsten Wade
When I was reading this article, I was thinking about when I was in middle school and that’s where I first felt the pressure to look more “sexy”. I think that pop culture is having a negative affect on teens. I think it’s good that there is a book to help parents deal with different situation that their kids are going through so that they can help them. Many parent now have to worry about what their kids are listen to, what they are watching because there are so many things in pop culture that are making being sexy and skinny the cool thing to do. So many parents are concern about today’s sexual attitudes and behavior of their adolescents. School should have classes to help parents deal with the sexualized media culture. Schools should also have a dress code so kids dress appropriate to school this would be a start to help solving this problem.
Kirsten Wade
It's clear that of course it should not just be the mother's responsibility to monitor her child's development. However, I think that fathers may just have some trouble speaking up about an issue like this. When daddy's realize their little girl is wearing dark eyeliner, short skirts, and thongs, they have trouble registering this loss of innocence. Perhaps it's just more shocking for them because men typically do not pay as much attention to the details of their child's growth process. Mothers can tend to see changes like this coming because they become more vigiliant of the signs.
As a teenager myself, I think it is extremely important for both parents to stay active in their child's life. They need to ask questions about everything (even though we hate it). I think that's partially why I never really tried to rebel or drastically change my image. I was open with my parents about my life, so I never really felt the need to change myself. I can't say that communication is garunteed to solve every problem between parents and teens, but it will definitely help. If there is no constant communication, what's to stop a parent from waking up one day and realizing that they don't know their child anymore?
I totally agree with the fact that the dad should be involved in their children's lives and make sure that he has talked to them about sex, teen pregnancy and any other sexually related topics that need to be talked about or any questions that the child may have. Many kids would listen to their dad's advice and take the topics more seriously since the father is usually the 'man of the household' and the discipliner. Sex is such a taboo topic for a lot of parents and their kids because it is an awkward topic and can feel very uncomfortable. But if parents talked to their kids about safe sex rather than just telling them nothing, there would probably be a lot less pregnancies and even maybe STIs.
Crystal Kerr
I think that society today is telling moms that they should be the ones to raise their daughters. Mothers should be able to relate better to them cause they are the same sex. For me though, I thought my mom didn't know anything. I was always a daddy's girl. My dad was pretty good at making sure I knew how I should act while I was growing up and what parts of myself I should keep covered up. I didn't care about what my mom thought because she wasn't a boy and I was in a way boy obsessed, like most pre-teen/teenage girls.
Today's fathers need to be more involved in their daughters lives. They should be setting examples for their daughters. At the same time they should also be setting examples for their sons and making sure there is not a double standard.
Rebecca Huber
When I was reading this article, I was thinking about when I was in middle school and that’s where I first felt the pressure to look more “sexy”. I think that pop culture is having a negative affect on teens. I think it’s good that there is a book to help parents deal with different situation that their kids are going through so that they can help them. Many parent now have to worry about what their kids are listen to, what they are watching because there are so many things in pop culture that are making being sexy and skinny the cool thing to do. So many parents are concern about today’s sexual attitudes and behavior of their adolescents. School should have classes to help parents deal with the sexualized media culture. Schools should also have a dress code so kids dress appropriate to school this would be a start to help solving this problem.
Kirsten Wade
I would definitely agree that sexuality amidst younger and younger generations has been popping up much longer than many would readily admit. It is good to see books out there about the issue of sexualized childhood, and how it is changing the face of the American teenage, and even the American elementary schooler! I think that the most tangible reason that we hold girls responsible for their sexuality more than boys is simply because of the tangible repercussions girls have as opposed to boys. Teenage pregnancy is down, or at least that is what the latest statistics say, but that doesn’t mean that those teens that are getting pregnant aren’t getting younger and younger. I think it is a major parental issue personally, moms and dads sign up to at least be a parent when they have children, and most parents these days seem to desire to do a bit of parenting. It is unfortunate that girls are finding the desire to be deemed “sexy” so early, but I think that there are a lot of underlying factors at play, including parental relationships.
I had some interesting thoughts after reading this article. My personal belief is that if both parents are there then it’s both parents responsibility to take care of the child. It’s not more of one than the other’s and it’s not something that can be blamed on one or the other. The parents are both responsible for the kid and they should stand up and do the right thing. Teach the child what is right and wrong and teach the kid what is appropriate in their eyes. Ultimately it’s a parents job to stand up and do the right thing. They have to make sure that if they are both involved then the child will have a better understanding of what is right and wrong.
Grant Matlock
First off, this article was really interesting, and so completely true, kids are discovering and becoming interested in sex so young now! I think that both parents should be equally involved in handling these types of situations, but it also seems in these cases mention in the expert from the book the kids were all overheard by the mother, which makes sense why the father wouldn’t know the full of the situation. Since our society has made out women to be the more caring and nurturing ones, fathers just assume that women know how the handle these types of things. Truthfully who really knows, and is there actually a right or wrong way to handle it? I would assume there is not, but I think that our schools could do more to prevent these types of things from happening. Media education from a young age should be enforced, men and women should learn from a young age that the media does not portray real life.
Sammy Kirk
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